January 19, 2003

  • And I hate you for that space in between here and now.
    How dare you go there first to tell me how,
    how it is.

     

    Forget you and your answers to everything.
    come now and wipe the tears from my eyes,
    how free is that?

     

    Oh, here is your lesson,
    golden coated dreams
    I hate you for it
    I fucking hate you for it

     

    Here comes the anger,
    10 years late and forever
    and I hate you for it.

     

    I would have went, but oh no
    better to have me hate you for it
    you son of a bitch
    fuck you, and here it is

     

    sing it to a tune.
    How could I ever?
    Never.
    won't happen,
    and you knew it.

     

    I can't hang and
    fuck you for thinking I could.

     

    I'm sorry your dead,
    and I am mad that you are.
    It's just like you to be
    dead like that..........

     

    This isn't a poem
    and forget you for thinking it was,
    it's just like you to do that.
    How beautiful.........
    there is no hope and I am gone.....
    I won't be coming back

    There is nothing to come back to.
    I have no tune.
    I'm sorry I hate you this way
    but it's gone and it hurts today
    today....
    every fucking day
    and who told you it was your turn?
    damn you, damn you, damn you.

     

    Just leave me alone.

What?

I AM still paranoid,
though reasons changed.
I'm paranoid that they'll figure out the language
and patterns of
me,
and I'll forget to rea
r r
ange.

Then I'll just be textbook.