January 19, 2003

• And I hate you for that space in between here and now.
  How dare you go there first to tell me how,
  how it is.

   

  Forget you and your answers to everything.
  come now and wipe the tears from my eyes,
  how free is that?

   

  Oh, here is your lesson,
  golden coated dreams
  I hate you for it
  I fucking hate you for it

   

  Here comes the anger,
  10 years late and forever
  and I hate you for it.

   

  I would have went, but oh no
  better to have me hate you for it
  you son of a bitch
  fuck you, and here it is

   

  sing it to a tune.
  How could I ever?
  Never.
  won't happen,
  and you knew it.

   

  I can't hang and
  fuck you for thinking I could.

   

  I'm sorry your dead,
  and I am mad that you are.
  It's just like you to be
  dead like that..........

   

  This isn't a poem
  and forget you for thinking it was,
  it's just like you to do that.
  How beautiful.........
  there is no hope and I am gone.....
  I won't be coming back

  There is nothing to come back to.
  I have no tune.
  I'm sorry I hate you this way
  but it's gone and it hurts today
  today....
  every fucking day
  and who told you it was your turn?
  damn you, damn you, damn you.

   

  Just leave me alone.

  • 3:44 am
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