January 19, 2003
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If I were to say what it really is, you might know how fucked up it really was. But seriously.....I'm scared. Someone already stole me and made a mockery of all I tried to do. And every time I check my mail they remind me, just how vulnerable we all are. You have no idea, but go ahead and let someone steal your identity and see how paranoid you become....and you cannot put it behind you because the magazines still come.
Shit and damn! I'm sorry, but I think I might need to seek an alternative identity or just go private....if only I would go private, that might mean that I actually say stuff, but I can't..... because I am paranoid, just like I was at the begining, and you all thought I was a bit silly, but how silly was I when it really came true?
I want to run away and find the way it was, but something keeps me still. I'm still scared and doubt I will ever tell the same, and that is a shame.
One thing to YOU though.....if you do not want an honest response then do not ask my fucking opinion in the first place. Yeah, I am honest to a fault and you can blame it all on me, but shit....quit being on my ass for telling you like it is, because I will, and you are best off looking for sugar fluff coating some place else because......... that is not who I AM!
It was safe when I was cryptic and less alive. All I can pray for is a release from the reality of Earth....you have no idea, but someday you will, and when you do......CALL ME because I totally suck at email.
