September 16, 2003
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I've changed my mind a million times and made a million new rules. I break them all and then.....change my mind again. I feel like a circus. So much going on, so many dreams, so many starts and stops and feelings like I am bored again. Always bored, or at least quickly bored, and ready for something new.
I'm going to start a new medication. A prescription. I sought out a new Doctor. I think I will like him. He wrote me a prescription. Well, he gave me lots of free samples anyway. I have reservations about taking it, but I think I should, I am too much up and down. At the end of the month they will have a new prescription for me, I am sure. It is then that I will see my labs, after 2.7 years, and know, I'm tired for a reason. I've started to let this virus beat me down. It's like I don't care, although I should, but what gives me the right to be more important than someone else? Perhaps I'll fill the pills and mail them to someone that needs them and hope to get back on track with my mind.
I keep thinking I need a wife. I keep thinking I need a playmate. I keep thinking I need a 3 car garage. I keep thinking I need a change. I keep thinking I need to do something else. I keep thinking, I keep thinking. I guess that's something anyway, thinking, that is.
I hate to NEED. I hate to hate. I have no need for want.
I still need clues.
I just realized how little time I have for this Xanga stuff, but I'll persist.
I keep getting so much SPAM, enlarge your penis and get darvon without a prescription types of emails. What the hell do they want with me? I don't have a penis (attached), and I am quite satisfied with the penis' I borrow. And do you really think I need an unending supply of darvon? For FUCK'S sake, leave me alone!!!
BE WELL.
P.S. Shannon, if you are reading this, please send me your new mailing address, I have another ms-chevious thing for you to do, that is.....if you are so inclined. And congratulations on the new hours, sorry I cannot help with your web-site woes....good luck. Love you!
Comments (4)
I am always reading! And I'm emailing now.
Now I'm all excited!
{{{hugs}}}
Hope you're feeling better soon - with or without the pills!
props.
I'm glad you're going to the Dr. again. (try not to have sex with him/her) Meditation on healing helps as well, don't forget to do that
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