June 2, 2004

• I'm feeling bad, guilty and lonely.  My friend Ozzie died this morning, and my new beta died last week.  I don't understand.  I have had Ozzie for almost 2 years and he was always a happy fish but last night he was looking pretty bad and this morning he's.....sleeping on the bottom of the tank.  I can't help but think I did it because I moved him to a bigger tank and moved the little cannibalistic fish I recently acquired to his old tank.  I wanted Ozzie to have luxury, while punishing the other fish for their misdeeds, but now.....I am being punished and the other fish are quite content in Ozzies old tank.  I know betas only live about 2 years, but I only had my newest beta for a week before he died, and I took good care of him......or did I?

  
  

  Oh woe is me.  I will miss Ozzie so much and hope he forgives me for any part I may have had in his demise.   I will probably get a new beta today and hope I don't kill him too.   Nothing will ever replace Ozzie but hopefully I will make a better home for my new friend.

  
  

  I couldn't sleep last night and just want to curl back into a ball and forget it all.   Don't tell me he is just a fish, he was a friend, we bonded.

  
  

  Dude still won't eat his greens and now I fear he will suffer the same fate as my fish.  I should just stick to dogs and cats I reckon.   I've been thinking of going to the pound and rescuing a mongrel, a small little lap dog.......just thinking.

  
  

  I desperately need a boost of happy.

  • 1:43 pm
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