June 14, 2005

• I had the following crap disguised in a text document labeled "happy"  hmmmm.....I wonder where the happy went?

  
  

  Date unknown, though it could be today or yesterday or sometime last year or the year before and so on and so on......

  
  

   

  
  

  
  You took me long into the night.
  Held my head as I trembled,
  warmed me when I shivered.
  You did it then,
  I pretend you do it now.
  In my land of make-believe,
  Where love used to be
  so damn true.

  
  

  But today....

  
  

  I'm cold and I'm tired. 
  This is just the way
  I thought it would be,
  when I wasn't alone,
  and clouds changed
  their shapes from red
  to blue.

  
  

  I'll take my time,
  gather my life in pools.
  Fuck the rules.
  Imagine complete.
  Do what I need to do.

  
  

  Yet still,

  
  

  It's not safe here.
  I'm gurgling again,
  drowning in the memory of you.
  You're dancing on the shore
  as I struggle to breathe.
  I cannot live,
  will not stream.
  It's not a dream.
  This came true.

  
  

  Where were you when I called your name? 
  Water swirled black
  all around my face,
  promising death,
  where it's warm.
  Where it's true.
   
  I have no soul to bear,
  I left her there. 
  You came for me
  and I left her there,
  alone.
  Again.

  
  

  Water swirls my hair
  in a tangle of seaweed,
  and you stand there
  on the shore,
  unaware of this snare. 
  No way to help,
  no sound of despair.
  No care?

  
  

  Where were you when I swam the sea? 
  A million miles of forever
  right beneath me as you smiled
  from the shore. 
  I'm not going there anymore.
  Too many circles and stars
  have blinded my mind
  and I'm stranded,
  branded,
  hopelessly banded,
  alone.
  Again.

  
  

  Take me from here,
  let me lose my sight in glory,
  fireworks and bright lights.
  Bow in infinite story
  humbled in infinite gain.

  
  

  My soul is in pain.
  Nobody will cry if I die.
  They've all left me
  high and dry,
  alone.
  Again.
  
  I've gone somewhere sad
  and you're gone,
  and you are too,
  and you and you.
  And YOU!
  I'm too cold to feel
  your warmness,
  burst of light,
  or happy fluffaroo.

  
  

  There is no soul to creep through.
  Not here,
  in tangled seaweed
  swirls black.
  Oxygen lack
  sea.

  
  

  Where is there?
  Smiling on the shore.
  Warm and true.
  Lucky for you.
  Sucks for me.
  Makes no sense now
  and I don't know how,
  nor do I care.

  
  

  It's not fair.
  Yet there are worse.
  Where life gets bad
  and oh so sad.
  Forever.
  No sever.
  In your face.
  Crap.

  
  

  Why do humans do what we do?

  
  

  So who am I?

  
  

  I'll always cry.
  It's what I do.
  Feel sadness to the core.
  Swirling black and blue
  where bodies ache.
  Bruised with sweat,
  bloodied in rain,
  streaked with salty dew.
  Again.
  Again.
  And Again.

  
  

  No end

  
  

  I want to go where love grows complete.
  Stand there with my feet
  in the sand.
  I just want to go.
  And feel your hand.
  Absorb your flow.
  Soak up your dew.
  Release the stress of blue.
  It's what I want to do.
  I do.

  
  

  i do

  
  

  I DO!

  
  

   

  • 12:09 am
  • 2 Comments