March 11, 2006

• I'm in strange energy again.  Not strange like Boo.  Strange like Woo.  That tickly sort of heavy place where everything seems true, yet false and desperately in between, the cracks.....you know?  Thinking about love, and life and all things nice.  Thinking about soul.  I know it there and know it's faults.  I feel the cracks unglued.  Sometimes it sucks that I do.  But not today.  Not suck.  Not settled though.  Not true.  Somewhere like a static noise, vibration of a mysterious hue.....that keeps fading in and out of you.

   

  Thinking about Timothy Treadwell, which I do a lot.  He's someone you can't forget.  Thinking about Timothy Treadwell like we're long, lost friends and I feel JOY well up in my eyes and I'm hugging him so tight.  I feel soul.  And my cheeks hurt from REmembering the LIGHT.  The SOUL.  And I can hear Timothy singing with a dancing bear and he doesn't care if you laugh and point.  He is in his soul.  Where it's warm.  Where it's true.  He's Blue.

   

  

   

  Thinking about irony.

   

  Superman and Death.

   

  Thinking about Rhonda and some of the things that she said.  Stuff that spoke directly to my soul.  I didn't know it then, when.....I failed to recognize the POWER of soul.  The stuff she said and felt and meant.  Thinking about how she was able to touch my soul.  She heard my bubbles and echos and dancing around, sing, sing, singy tunes.  Broadway musicals and dancing, swirling dogs, cats and bees and apple trees.  Bubbles, bubbles, bells.  She heard that stuff inside my head, my heart, my soul.  It's there alright and it serves me well, the stuff of my soul.  I remember when I tried to make it go.  When they laughed or dismissed.  When I didn't know that I had SOUL.

   

  Or think I was worthy.

   

  Yet still, sometimes and a day.  I might wish it away.   But it's false.  Pretend.  It's there and it's my friend.  Trust the one that is true.  BElieve you are worthy.  That's all.  It's BIG.  Big, like stupendous is BIG.  BElieve that you are worthy no matter how BEautiful.  It's yours.  For real.  Can't steal that which you own.

   

  Thinking about flying again.  Rhonda felt that too, the day that I flew.  I circled round and saw everything, green and brown and blue. Cars and people, even myself.  I was flying then.  until.......I realized I can't.  But I could.  But I got so scared.  But I did it.  I flew.  I never told anyone then, not ever.  How I long to go there again.  But I can't.  Because I know what I've been told.  Not possible.  And I BElieve.  BUT yet, I do know deep down in my soul, where it sings, I can fly.  I really can.  So can you.  It's true.

   

  Scary huh?  It makes me shiver.  It keeps me warm.  It leaves me searching for soul.  I hear it echo then and feel vibrations blue.

   

  But how could Rhonda hear all that, know so much with just a touch? I think She can hear it too.  Music and songs all day long.  Background vibration love, dance parade.  Taste lemonade.  Blue. Sparkle, shadow, darting hue.  Spirits of past tense.  Souls gone new.  Animals too.  Woo!

   

  Sometimes it grips me so.  Like woe.  Wow.  And when?  When can I go there again?  What makes me whole?

   

   

   

  I should have made this into a song.

   

   

   

  YOU DID!
  I DID?
  WE DID.
  DO!

   

  • 5:53 am
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