January 19, 2008

• MY Mombo

  

  
  

  

  
  

  01-15-07  Mombo is my LOVE.  He doesn't have Wobblers Sydrome at all.  Oh No.  He has a large mass growing inside him.  It's not good.  Dr. Mike said it may be his spleen, which can be removed but....yup, you know the rest.  If it's something else, malignant mass.....shit.  He said we would have to make decisions then and could have him euthanized on the operating table, or let him die on his own.

  
  

  FUCKER!

  
  

  I'm not in a real good place right now.

  
  

  That's all.

  
  

  

  
  

  ***01-17-07  UPDATE!****

  
  

  My Mombo is still at the vet after having his spleen and a large mass removed.  Unfortunately that was not the only mass they found in him.  There were a total of 4 masses inside Mombo and 2 of them, one on his liver and another on his stomach, could not be removed without killing him so.......... The vet called and asked what we would like to do.  We told the vet to please remove what they could and sew him back up so he can come home, to die.  Mombo is still at the vet recovering and Dr. Mike said he would like him to stay until they can get him to eat.  We are going to see him today and bring him his KONG and a pig ear and all the LOVE we have.

  
  

  My heart is breaking.  It's broke.  I have no heart left.

  
  

  The vet said that Mombo will probably live 2-6 months before he succumbs to the cancer or, if he gets too bad....we decide to have him euthanized.  We will cross that bridge when we come to it. 

  
  

  No, I do not have my hopes up. 
  No, I do not think he will win this fight and battle back. 
  No, I AM not thinking positively.
  No, I will not try chemo.
  YES, My Mombo will spend the rest of his days under our Care and Love.

  
  

  BUCK ASS seems a bit lost without Mombo in the house.  I know animals sense things and Buck seems a bit out of sorts.  Buck keeps walking around looking outside, and all over the house over and over again.  Shakti however, seems to be just fine.  She kissed me over and over last night as I lay on the couch and cried uncontrollably.  She wants me to BE happy.  She wants me to REmember her and YES I DO LOVE my other dogs, BUT I have nothing to be ashamed of when I tell you I loved MOMBO more than all of my other pets put together.  He was my first dog and my one TRUE LOVE.  His Life made so many decisions for me.  His Life and Love completed me.  He is my son, my first born.  My HERO.  MY LOVE.

  
  

  Thank you to all the well wishers here, your support means a LOT!

  
  

  1-18-07 UPDATE!

  
  

  Mombo came home yesterday.  He ate something at the vet so they let him come home.  He is still a bit out of sorts from the surgery but he can walk around and is eating every doggy dope infused treat that I give him.  I slept downstairs last night so Mombo would not feel inclined to walk up the stairs.  I didn't get much sleep.

  
  

  I have started giving Mombo fish oils, B vitamins, Vitamin C, Astragalus, and enzymes along with his other doggy dope from the vet.  Today I shop the meat department to get him all the protein I can give him. 

  
  

  Mombo has been making sounds like he is choking lately.  Little coughing type sounds.  We fear the cancer has spread to his esophogus or something and is causing this.  It's very upsetting.

  
  

  Mombo is otherwise his normal self.  Gives me my kisses on demand.  Gets excited and wags that tail when I sing my PupperDog Songs, get's mad when I chatter my teeth by his ears and gets his treat out of the KONG every time.  It's hard to imagine he is really quite ill and is slowly dying in front of my eyes.

  
  

  I keep a slight glimmer of hope, so slight.

  
  

  I will continue to keep updating this particular blog with Mombo updates.  It's easier to keep all my Mombo stuff in one blog.

  
  

  That's all.

  
  

  ***1-19-07 UPDATE! ***

  
  

  My Mombo is eating up his gourmet meal.  Steak and burger, chicken, eggs, brown rice and carrots too.  Of course I have to sneak in a healthier thing or two.  Wieners too.  Several a day cuz they are wonderful to hide pills in.  Peanut Butter so he licks up all the liquid medicine without a fight.

  
  

  Mombo's breathing bothers me.  I have a hard time not imagining the worst.  Mombo remains alert and full of love and interest.  Yup, he naps a lot too and I made him the coziest of beds but he keeps opting for the cold hard floor.  He's a bastard like that.

  
  

  I keep reflecting back to my latest coyote dream.  It was about 3 weeks ago that I dreamed of coyotes again.  I dreamed that these huge, ugly, vicious coyotes were right outside the door.  Howling and snarling and scaring us and more.  Well Mombo would have no part of them and before I could pull him back inside he was out there battling those fucking nasty coyotes.  I was yelling and screaming for Mombo to come in but he wouldn't listen.....AGAIN!  I yelled in the house, get the gun.....somebody get a gun, the coyotes are tearing Mombo up from limb to limb.......GET A FUCKING GUN!  There was no time and nobody got a gun.......'tis all I remember from that dream, except of course the feelings and emotions I had during it.

  
  

  A premonition.

  
  

  Those fucking coyotes still circle and howl right outside the door and my Mombo, he tried, he tried, he tried......even though I begged him not too.  He listens when he wants, always has.  Mombo is a stubborn bastard and I would not have him any other way!

  
  

  ***01-21-07*** UPDATE!

  
  

  My Mombo is getting more and more back to his old self, 'cept for the breathing thing.  I honestly thought he was going to die last night as awful as he sounded.  I sang to him a lot and laid near.  I told him it was ok to go and asked him to tell me when it was time.  I will let my dog die with dignity and strength.  I have come to terms with it, as much as I hate it.  It's the circle of life!  HAKUNA MATATA!

  
  

  I have been reading more about nutritional therapies for dogs with cancer.  Seems that raw meat is highly recommended as are green veggies and Omega 3 fatty acids, vitamins C & E.  Carbs are to be avoided at all costs.  Cancer feeds on carbs.  I spent about $30 in meat today and just spent an hour cutting it all up.  I just bought $25 in meat the other day but....I spent a good amount of time cooking it.  I will no longer do that.

  
  

  I had a huge bone from some pork butt roast and gave it to Mombo, raw.  He gave me the much loved growl when I pretended I wanted to take his bone away.  This is good news.  After about 20 minutes of me in the kitchen cutting up flesh, I went to check on Mombo and his bone.  What BONE?  No way!  Yes WAY!  He ate that huge bone down, all of it.  Every stinking last drop.  I am still looking around for somewhere he may have hid it because I cannot believe he ate the whole fucking thing.  He did!  It's gone!

  
  

  I really think Mombo is doing better today.  His breathing is better for certain.  Maybe and perhaps there is a chance for my boy yet.  Mombo says thank you to everyone and insists that you send MEAT!

  
  

  P.S.  All of my pups will now BE on a BARF DIET!

  
  

  ***1-23-07*** UPDATE!

  
  

  The vet called yesterday and told me that Mombo's test results were benign and non cancerous!  This is good news, however we are still not out of the water by any means.  Mombo still has a tumor growing on his stomach and another on his liver, which were not removed, and he could have others in him they did not see.  I forgot to ask if those other tumors were biopsied.  I have an appointment with Mombo tomorrow for his breathing, which BTW has become A LOT BETTER, though still concerning.  Mombo is going to have a chest X-ray tomorrow and I will have more answers then. 

  
  

  I am now feeding the PUPS raw meat and bones.  The only treatment for cancer that has any amount of success is with diet.  I have spent hours and hours on-line reading about cancer in dogs and BARF diet and all that good stuff.  I am still new at this raw meat and bones, but eventually I think I will learn to master it.  I may even look for fresh road kill, if need be.  haha, laughing now envisioning me loading carcasses into the truck! LOL  I made some calls and found a few sources for cheap meat and bones.  Hogs and beef.  Chicken has been kind of tricky and I think I made myself a little sick.   I'm not a big fan of handling innards either so.... I'll need to think of something quick.

  
  

  Mombo is so much better today.  He doesn't act or look ill at all, just old.  I've aged quite a bit this month myself.   I've grown.

  
  

  That's all.

  
  

  ***1-24-07*** UPDATE!

  
  

  Mombo is home from the vet safe and sound.  The X-Rays did not show any more tumors in his chest but he did have a pocket of air around his lungs.  I forget what the vet called it, but at this point we need not worry about it because Mombo's breathing is so much better.  Dr. Mike said Mombo should take it easy for the next month and suggested we not even take him for walks.  'Tis ok, we have been babying Mombo very well.  Mombo is going to be my miracle pup, I have somehow found Faith.  hmph!

  
  

  I dreamed of a blue, Happy Birthday balloon bouncing around outside my door.  The same door the coyotes were at.  Only this time it was a blue balloon and I couldn't figure out where the balloon could have come from.  That's about all I remember from that dream.  Yesterday, when I drove the rents home, I saw a blue balloon bouncing along a highway fence.  I stopped, put the car in reverse (frontage road)  and went back to see.  Sure enough, a big, blue balloon.  I dunno' what it means, but it makes me smile just the same.

  
  

  My PUPS growl for the meat.  They protect the bone.  This new RAW feeding has both me and the PUPS feeling a bit savage.

  
  

  ***1-29-07*** UPDATE!

  
  

  My Mombo is doing well.  Sometimes I REmember that he is not well and let myself go to that sad, dark place.  Hate IT!

  
  

  Mombo goes to the vet today to get his stitches out and get checked over.  Everything seems to be fine with him and he is once again exhibiting his asshole tendencies.  There was some type of animal outside last night, and somehow Mombo can sense this.  Perhaps he smells it, because he sure doesn't hear worth a squat.  Anyway, whenever there is an uninvited guest outside Mombo is an ass all night long and constantly paces, gets in your face and wants to go outside all the time.  Drives me nuts.  Mombo likes to BE the Big, Bad Ass Dog in charge so.....I let him.  I AM HAPPY TO HAVE HIM BACK!

  
  

  I found a few good sources for info on RAW FEEDING and joined a yahoo group as well.  I may be suffering from Information Overload!   nah!

  
  

  http://www.rawlearning.com
  http://www.rawmeatybones.com
  http://www.rawfed.com/myths/
  http://www.rawfeddogs.net/
  http://www.ukrmb.co.uk/

  
  

  ***02-08-07***UPDATE!

  
  

  I found a vet in this one horse town that does acupuncture on animals.  Woo Hoo!  Mombo had his first acupuncture appointment today and it went fabulously.   This new vet is a HUGE advocate for RAW meat and bones and she was a wealth of information for me and the treatment of Mombo.  She gave him a thumbs up as far as healing from his surgery goes and explained to me many things about her practice and the thought train in using eastern medicine.  She BElieves that my current diet and "natural therapies" I AM using with Mombo are the BEst course of action for his continued well BEing.  I AM going to keep HOPE Alive for Mombo.

  
  

  I learned a lot of different techniques for massage with Mombo today.  Meats that are BEnificial to his continued well BEing, and supplements I can try.  She also told me using Moxy will BE BEneficial for Mombo and will have some for me on his next appointment.  I took a few pics of Mombo getting his acupuncture today and apologize if they are HUGE.  I AM not home and do not have software to resize here so......it is IN YOUR FACE MOMBO!

  
  

  Yes, the vet loved Mombo too and said he was a very, very good boy.  Everybody loves Mombo, everybody!

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  ***02-17-07***UPDATE!

  
  

  Mombo went for acupuncture again yesterday.  He did not seem to be very fond of his treatment this time around though.  The vet put the needles in a special configuration that was to aid in tumor reduction, I forget the proper name for this particular session.  Mombo was very uncomfortable this time around and did not want to lie down or stay still.  It may have something to do with the fact that the BIG GUY came along for this session or perhaps, because it just plain stimulated things Mombo did not like to have stimulated.  Regardless, Mombo will be going back in 2 weeks for another session.  His first session has shown a marked improvement in his ambulation.  He no longer limps outside when it is cold and he is much faster to get on his feet from a lying position.  He leaps in the car quick as, even though I prefer he not, but he is too quick for me.  Otherwise Mombo is doing wonderfully and is his typical loving self. 

  
  

  The vet taught us that Mombo's personality is described as being FIRE in Chinese astrology.  FIRE animals are typically friendly, crave attention, and get along with everyone, in fact they demand to be the center of attention.  YUP, that is my Mombo.  I AM a FIRE person too, born in the year of the FIRE HORSE.  I guess that is why Mombo and I are so in sync.  The vet also told us about our other dogs and what their personalities indicate.  BUCK ASS tends to be a loner and quite leery of new people.  He spends a LOT of time by himself and I am a bit nervous having him around children, at least until he gets to know them.  This type of personality is categorized as being Wood.  Shakti, on the other hand, tends to be timid, easily scared and very leery of anybody or anything new.  She is a Water sign.  So, I guess we have quite a plethora of different animal personalities but they all get along just fine.  Actually, I do not think Mombo would allow any other animal to take his spotlight and attention so, for Mombo's sake, only 1 FIRE dog at a time.

  
  

  The raw feeding is going well.  The only problem is, I cannot get Mombo to eat raw chicken or innards.  I tried browning the chicken slightly in bacon grease, but Mombo still won't have any part of it.  He also will not eat liver or other innards.  I had to stick those innards in the food processor and grind them up so I could hide them in the meat mix.  Needless to say, this is not a good idea for someone with a weak stomach.  BLECHHH!  Oh yes, even thinking about it makes me want to heave.  Not good.   I was able to get Mombo to eat his innards though so.... it's worth it I guess. (oh shit, now I feel like puking again......I really cannot even think of it!)

  
  

  That's about all I have for Mombo news now.  Hopefully things will only continue to improve with him.

  
  

  ***03-14-07***UPDATE!

  
  

  Mombo went for his 3rd acupuncture appointment yesterday and it went fabulously.  Mombo was full of vim and vigor yesterday and for the last couple weeks.  He is a lot less stiff and has gained 7 lbs. since his last visit.  Dr. Raisbeck said he looks wonderful and his tongue and mouth area are a healthy color now too.  I have high hopes for my boy and will continue with raw feeding and supplements. 

  
  

  I try not to fret over every little sound or movement he makes.  Actually, he really doesn't make any so, I have to remind myself not to imagine any as well.  Mombo will be 12 in June and I realize he is getting old and will be slower than he used to BE and I AM not going to push him to do anything he doesn't want to do.  I lift his rear in the car if he doesn't jump in first (I try to discourage him from jumping but....he's Mombo and does as he pleases.)  He always has a padded bed to lie on though he often chooses the floor.  He was humping little kids a few weekends back and that is a sure sign he is in top form.  He has always been a perv from puppyhood on.  Yes I know it's a dominant thing but sheeeesh, he really is a perv!

  
  

  All my pups are so much shinier since I started the raw meat and bones, they glisten, especially Wee Little Runty McSmall.  She really loves her meat and bones.  Sure, it's a chore to buy the meat and handle the meat and weigh out the flesh.  Supplement time is treat time and they get weiners and liver sausage then.  (blech!)  I AM not a fan of the meat at all, but the dogs are so, it is a labor of LOVE and I will continue to do right by them.  Cats....not so much!  They don't seem to fancy the raw meat much at all and I AM fine with that.

  
  

  Guess that is all for now.

  
  

  ***05-10-07 UPDATE! ***

  
  

  My Mombo is struggling these days.  His breathing is very labored with the slightest exertion.  His gait is very wobbly and ambulation is increasingly difficult.  He needs help to get up the stairs now.  His back legs just don't seem to want to start working on their own, so I help them.  His gums and tongue are very pale and his eyes get gunky a lot.  Mombo is getting so old, so quickly, right in front of my eyes.  I have taken him to several acupuncture appointments and he responds favorably after each one however, the positive effects seem to dissipate after about 2 weeks.  I will take him for another acupuncture appointment next week and supplement with Rimadyl in the interm. 

  
  

  I spent a lot of time in the sad place when Mombo first went ill.  Today....well, I'm not sure what to say.  I know he's going to go away and a part of me wants to wish him gone.  I hate to think he is suffering inside.  He still has some joy in eating, sleeping, belly rubs, PUPPERDOG songs.  But he has changed.  His Fire is diminishing.  The dog I so vividly REmember is stuck in a time since past.  Today his soul moves on but his Spirit is hushed.  He simply lingers.

  
  

  ***10-25-07 UPDATE! ***

  
  

  It's been a while since I've written on Mombo.  The days have been quiet and slow for Mombo.  I do not exert him, though he still does like to play, gently.  His breathing is becoming increasingly difficult and I can hear a definite blockage in his throat.  Other than that, he still eats and his ambulation is much better.  I do massage work with Mombo often.  Energy stuff.  Love and Kisses.  But this you know, it's like.... well, choices are forthcoming.  Things that make you cry.  I try not to cry, I just got my breath back.

  
  

  The impending sense of doom.  It can swallow a whole room and devour it in one lick.  I'm trying hard to not look at it that way.  I'm watching birds outside my window, chirp and eat.  Bouncy feet.  Exotic birds and frosty grass, hoping the mosquitoes are gone now too.  Thinking about that.

  
  

  Mombo likes wieners BIG!  I bought some cheap ones yesterday, they were on sale.  Swallows them down whole and then the hacking starts.  Reminders....

  
  

  The grass is dying, like it died before....yet it keeps coming back for more.  Just the same.  Yet different from before, unchanged yet rearranged.

  
  

  Same as all.

  
  

  ***01-16-08 UPDATE! ***

  
  

  When is a good day to die?  I'm faced with this decision now.  Mombo struggles to breathe and the time is near.  It's tearing me apart yet.... I Am staying strong.  Making grown up decisions and taking charge.  Maybe it's easier because I know how he is struggling and I never, ever would want him in pain.  I'm in a bit of a fog/nightmare/dream and feel like the grim reaper.  Talking of death and putting him down right in front of him like that.  Makes me sick.  I've even thought of shooting him myself as a last act of great love.  How fucking sick is that?  I'm just not right in the head right now and this weekend may very well BE Mombo's funeral.

  
  

  FUCK OFF!

  
  

  ***01-19-08***UPDATE!

  
  

  Today was going to BE Mombo's last day.  I had to call and cancel.  It's just not time yet.  We both agree.

  
  

  There is no right or wrong answer in matters of such consequence.

  • 12:19 pm
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