March 10, 2022
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Dumbstruck
I am just astounded at the country I am living in right now. I can't believe the censorship and calls for violence and discrimination and utter destruction of people born in Russia. Are you fucking kidding me? I am utterly dumbed out and confounded and stupidly out of any kind of mindset where I can imagine this is true. It seems like a cartoon or a bad dream, like the powers that be used 1984 as their instruction manual. It just can't be real, how can people be allowing this? I swear, I am stupefied and in a sort of shock.
The heaviness of all that reality was hard yesterday. The energy so dark and consuming. People wishing for death and destruction and the gravity of everything that is unfolding. It weighed me down to suffocation and misery. I just cried and kept to myself and wished someone could rock me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I found some solace in prayer and Binaural Beats and getting high. I slept well and made it to today, where I am calmer, less sad, but still mad. I'm not mad at the people but the system and I want to shake you all awake to join the fight to stop the lies and hate. RISE UP!
I pray Putin's secret weapon is a TRUTH BOMB! No! 100's of TRUTH BOMBS! Truth bombs trickled out slowly so we can digest each one. Buckle up fellow humans because cognitive dissonance is a drag. I know, been there many a time, but you will live through it stronger and braver and then we can join hands and sing Kumbaya!
Sometimes I think it is my fault we hear the lies and accept the banning and burning and violence. I would make comments in jest, like "next they'll be banning Russian literature and music" and fucking BAM! They are even banning Russian cats! Certainly this is just some fucking cartoon or dystopian comic book I am stuck in? I'm like, no...this just can't be fucking true. Unfucking real. I am literally shaking my head in disbelief as I type this thinking, this can't be true and it must be a dream or what is going on?
I am trying to be calm today, not let rage control me, or allow fear to direct my mind. I am going to record some outrageous Russiaphobian Hate stuff for posterity's sake and leave that info here.
