If you want to know what #MyBernieStory is about you can find lots of videos and heartbreaking stories here: https://www.stories.berniesanders.com/  You can also search Twitter/FB with that hashtag.

I have quite a few #MyBernieStory stories too.  If you scroll way back, to when I started typing smack, you will probably read one or two. However, the story I want to tell, I haven't written down.  I have told this story to many a person though, because I feel it is important in several ways, at least to me, hence I am typing it now.

This My Bernie Story was actually a dream I had, (2ish years ago.) The dream also touched on ideas I have been perpetually reading and learning about, in an effort to understand life. I will explain after the story.

My Bernie Story (--dream sequence--)

I was in a trailer type room with a man I seemed to know. The atmosphere was tense and we were arguing about something. I was feeling uneasy in my dream but I was trying to be calm and cool.
Suddenly this man pulls out a gun and shoots me, twice. TWICE! I fell to the floor, shocked and confused.  I was clutching my torso, trying to contain the warm blood and guts that were oozing out of me.

As I lay dying on the floor, I looked up at the man who shot me and said "I forgive you."

Then everything went black and quiet.

Then I died.

Wait! No!

I didn't die?!

Suddenly I am lying on the ground, surrounded by family, friends, rescue people, sirens and police. Everything is noisy and confusing, but I am quickly filling with dread. (In my dream, I am filling with fucking dread!) I am filling with dread because all I can think of is, how much money it is going to cost to save my life!

I then told the people around me that I was "sorry for all the medical bills that we were going to get..."

~end scene~

The obviously fucked up part of the dream/story is our inhumane, for profit W/Health Care System in the USA, which is the 'My Bernie Story' part of the story.  I am not going to focus on that part though.

The other part of the story I do want to focus on, has to do with the "forgiveness" part of my near death dream.

I have been studying and reading about Edgar Cayce for many years.   I don't remember how I learned about Edgar, but I know it was back in the 1900's.  His work and teachings have showed up at different, and sometimes auspicious, times of my life.  Edgar fascinates me and having met and been healed by Rhonda Lenair, whom is often compared to Edgar, I have many more reasons to study him, and her, and things of energy, healing and spirituality.

I am forever trying to figure out why humans are such bloody, disgusting creatures? Since the beginning of time we slaughter each other and do vile things to animals and the planet.  Forever.   Like, when will we learn?  Have we known it once but forgotten it?  I try to back away from all that is LIFE and look at the BIG picture, in a macro sense, yet the reason for this cycle of human barbarity escapes me. Sometimes I believe that as divine, spiritual creatures, we humans are on this planet only to figure out what we are NOT, as opposed to what we ARE. (my beliefs are fluid)

So anyway, I read an Edgar Cayce prediction, where he said something to the effect of, 'we live in an eye for an eye society and until we can know forgiveness, the pattern will repeat.' I am totally paraphrasing here, but that was the gist of his "prediction."

FORGIVENESS

This made sense to me though and really helped me to put humanity into a better perspective.  Forgiveness.  I can forgive someone for doing evil to me, but can I forgive someone else for their evils done unto others?  Hitler? Kissinger? Bush? McVeigh? Pedophiles & serial killers?   Hmmm...this is where I get kind of stuck.  Do I need to forgive these cretins and the countless others? In order to evolve is it imperative that I wish goodness and light upon the lowliest scum of the Earth?

I will need to work those feelings out, lest I cycle back through another life and be forced to figure it out the hard way. Isn't that the only way?

I also suspect, subconsciously, I was happy to die and get the fuck out of here and just wanted to make sure I didn't have to make any more loops...

"through this thing called life
Electric word life it means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here to tell you there's something else..." ~RIP Prince

"The soul can never be destroyed. 'I,' shall be 'I,' and 'You,' shall be 'You,' for eternity"-NotMe

P.S. Any shrinks out there reading this will probably want to focus on the "want to die and get the fuck out of here" statement.  Fret not, I plan to stay alive to watch it all fall down.  I think it will be a gigantic wave, I had a dream about it... Oh my, here we go again with another dream! lol

I had a dream that taught me the truth about dying.  The choice, the thought, the realization.  It was a dream, though the message was very clear and profoundly simple.  Yet I scramble my brains trying to understand the simplicity of it.

In my dream death was a choice. 
A decision I could make and once made it went from this to that.
It was only one thing,
This or That.
Here or there.
Yes or No.
Black or White.
On or Off.
1 or 0.

That's all.

Ponder that.

I dreamed of Bill again last night.  I hardly remember the dream, other than to know he was sitting in a chair and I served him a beverage.  I was proud that he was my brother.  The rest of the dream has faded away, but I do know he was there to stay.  I haven't dreamt of Bill in years and just lately, I have had two dreams that he was in.  I think he is trying to let me know he cares and he believes in me.  I seldom hear that from anyone, and this weekend I decided I have had enough of the shit and yelled my fucking ass off.  I didn't feel better, but I DID set some boundaries.

It's time for me to give a shit less about what others think is best or good or right for me.  I must follow the Energy that the Universe is sending me.  I must take risks and listen to all the clues.  I do not need input from those who can't comprehend something they cannot see or touch, and I simply haven't the patience to explain it so they can understand.

I'm feeling less bitter, though my words may not express that.  I really AM, and I WILL set out to do what the Universe asks me.  I cannot deny my strengths.

I AM POWERFUL!  Never forget it!

Oh, I did also meet with an old classlmate this week, Craig.  We haven't seen each other in almost 20 years.  It was great visiting with him and his daughter, they came to my house and we played in the tree fort, did mehndi and ate quiche.  Craig and I may work together and plan a class reunion.  Can you believe my graduating class has NEVER had a class reunion?  I think it's about time we did.......besides, it will give me a reason to get into great shape!  bah hah

BE WELL.

I dreamed of my brother Bill last night.  We were at a fair with my parents, my Aunt Jan, Uncle Lee, and their kids.  I'm not sure if we were grown.  I felt grown, yet I anxiously awaited the parade and flying candy that was about to take place.

We made a beautiful tent, similar to the one I set up at the fair.  Only this one had so many more dangly, shiny, beautiful things.  I felt I didn't get to finish it.  Time was tight.  No sooner had we arrived then we had to leave.  Jan and clan had to go.....they had a long drive home.

It was good to see Bill again, it's been so long.  I think he stopped by to give me a clue.  I know it's true.  Thank you my Brother.  We will always be the Wonder Twins!  Now it's time to activate!

I'm so close, yet there is nothing I can touch or taste.  Grasp, reach, envelop.  The closer I move, the less I allow to encroach.  I'll speak my truth sound.  I have forgotten how to be loud.  It's quiet here, in this lake of light, wind, stars.  I saw flowers flow from my mouth, flowers of every color, sound and creation. I wept.  It was the most beautiful thing I had ever felt, yet it felt too much. I had to look away.  I'm not ready for that part yet, not today.  I'm not quiet enough yet, not content enough inside.

No reason, other than time. 

Process.

Release.

My time will come and I will give it back to you.  You'll feel it.  I can't show you.  You'll feel it.  When I can feel it for all that it is, and all that it was, then I can share it with you.  It's the most beautiful thing.

I have not killed another living thing.  Living things have died because of me.  Conscious.  Conscience.  UNconscious.  Dreams.  The clock was digital and turned 11:11 right in front of my eyes, and then I knew.  It's time to die again.   The car backed up quickly and smashed Peter's legs.  I jumped up the pole.  Then the men came.  Busy, so many things, here is what we have to do.  I watched Peter get shot, him and several others, right in front of my eyes.  We were soldiers, on a mission of doom.  We knew our fate before we left, but there was no time for thought.  This was it.  I don't know how I felt, if anything. I sat there behind the bed, and asked someone for a gun.  I tried to shoot.  It didn't work.  They laughed at me.  Everyone was dead, except for me and them.  They left me alone.  I don't know if I had sadness, I was feeling like I was too late or maybe if they would have let us think we could have done what we knew we wanted to do.  But we knew it was going to happen, exactly down to the last detail, like a HollyWood script. 

I know what it means, but I have no words to type for it.  It's that shattered glass in my eyes, the speckle from the dawn of yesterday, which is only tomorrow, and has already been discovered.....it's just waiting for me to return.

Bill wants me to tell all of you, especially his Mother and Father...... TURN OFF YOUR TV!