If you want to know what #MyBernieStory is about you can find lots of videos and heartbreaking stories here: https://www.stories.berniesanders.com/  You can also search Twitter/FB with that hashtag.

I have quite a few #MyBernieStory stories too.  If you scroll way back, to when I started typing smack, you will probably read one or two. However, the story I want to tell, I haven't written down.  I have told this story to many a person though, because I feel it is important in several ways, at least to me, hence I am typing it now.

This My Bernie Story was actually a dream I had, (2ish years ago.) The dream also touched on ideas I have been perpetually reading and learning about, in an effort to understand life. I will explain after the story.

My Bernie Story (--dream sequence--)

I was in a trailer type room with a man I seemed to know. The atmosphere was tense and we were arguing about something. I was feeling uneasy in my dream but I was trying to be calm and cool.
Suddenly this man pulls out a gun and shoots me, twice. TWICE! I fell to the floor, shocked and confused.  I was clutching my torso, trying to contain the warm blood and guts that were oozing out of me.

As I lay dying on the floor, I looked up at the man who shot me and said "I forgive you."

Then everything went black and quiet.

Then I died.

Wait! No!

I didn't die?!

Suddenly I am lying on the ground, surrounded by family, friends, rescue people, sirens and police. Everything is noisy and confusing, but I am quickly filling with dread. (In my dream, I am filling with fucking dread!) I am filling with dread because all I can think of is, how much money it is going to cost to save my life!

I then told the people around me that I was "sorry for all the medical bills that we were going to get..."

~end scene~

The obviously fucked up part of the dream/story is our inhumane, for profit W/Health Care System in the USA, which is the 'My Bernie Story' part of the story.  I am not going to focus on that part though.

The other part of the story I do want to focus on, has to do with the "forgiveness" part of my near death dream.

I have been studying and reading about Edgar Cayce for many years.   I don't remember how I learned about Edgar, but I know it was back in the 1900's.  His work and teachings have showed up at different, and sometimes auspicious, times of my life.  Edgar fascinates me and having met and been healed by Rhonda Lenair, whom is often compared to Edgar, I have many more reasons to study him, and her, and things of energy, healing and spirituality.

I am forever trying to figure out why humans are such bloody, disgusting creatures? Since the beginning of time we slaughter each other and do vile things to animals and the planet.  Forever.   Like, when will we learn?  Have we known it once but forgotten it?  I try to back away from all that is LIFE and look at the BIG picture, in a macro sense, yet the reason for this cycle of human barbarity escapes me. Sometimes I believe that as divine, spiritual creatures, we humans are on this planet only to figure out what we are NOT, as opposed to what we ARE. (my beliefs are fluid)

So anyway, I read an Edgar Cayce prediction, where he said something to the effect of, 'we live in an eye for an eye society and until we can know forgiveness, the pattern will repeat.' I am totally paraphrasing here, but that was the gist of his "prediction."

FORGIVENESS

This made sense to me though and really helped me to put humanity into a better perspective.  Forgiveness.  I can forgive someone for doing evil to me, but can I forgive someone else for their evils done unto others?  Hitler? Kissinger? Bush? McVeigh? Pedophiles & serial killers?   Hmmm...this is where I get kind of stuck.  Do I need to forgive these cretins and the countless others? In order to evolve is it imperative that I wish goodness and light upon the lowliest scum of the Earth?

I will need to work those feelings out, lest I cycle back through another life and be forced to figure it out the hard way. Isn't that the only way?

I also suspect, subconsciously, I was happy to die and get the fuck out of here and just wanted to make sure I didn't have to make any more loops...

"through this thing called life
Electric word life it means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here to tell you there's something else..." ~RIP Prince

"The soul can never be destroyed. 'I,' shall be 'I,' and 'You,' shall be 'You,' for eternity"-NotMe

P.S. Any shrinks out there reading this will probably want to focus on the "want to die and get the fuck out of here" statement.  Fret not, I plan to stay alive to watch it all fall down.  I think it will be a gigantic wave, I had a dream about it... Oh my, here we go again with another dream! lol

I'm in strange energy again.  Not strange like Boo.  Strange like Woo.  That tickly sort of heavy place where everything seems true, yet false and desperately in between, the cracks.....you know?  Thinking about love, and life and all things nice.  Thinking about soul.  I know it there and know it's faults.  I feel the cracks unglued.  Sometimes it sucks that I do.  But not today.  Not suck.  Not settled though.  Not true.  Somewhere like a static noise, vibration of a mysterious hue.....that keeps fading in and out of you.

Thinking about Timothy Treadwell, which I do a lot.  He's someone you can't forget.  Thinking about Timothy Treadwell like we're long, lost friends and I feel JOY well up in my eyes and I'm hugging him so tight.  I feel soul.  And my cheeks hurt from REmembering the LIGHT.  The SOUL.  And I can hear Timothy singing with a dancing bear and he doesn't care if you laugh and point.  He is in his soul.  Where it's warm.  Where it's true.  He's Blue.

Thinking about irony.

Superman and Death.

Thinking about Rhonda and some of the things that she said.  Stuff that spoke directly to my soul.  I didn't know it then, when.....I failed to recognize the POWER of soul.  The stuff she said and felt and meant.  Thinking about how she was able to touch my soul.  She heard my bubbles and echos and dancing around, sing, sing, singy tunes.  Broadway musicals and dancing, swirling dogs, cats and bees and apple trees.  Bubbles, bubbles, bells.  She heard that stuff inside my head, my heart, my soul.  It's there alright and it serves me well, the stuff of my soul.  I remember when I tried to make it go.  When they laughed or dismissed.  When I didn't know that I had SOUL.

Or think I was worthy.

Yet still, sometimes and a day.  I might wish it away.   But it's false.  Pretend.  It's there and it's my friend.  Trust the one that is true.  BElieve you are worthy.  That's all.  It's BIG.  Big, like stupendous is BIG.  BElieve that you are worthy no matter how BEautiful.  It's yours.  For real.  Can't steal that which you own.

Thinking about flying again.  Rhonda felt that too, the day that I flew.  I circled round and saw everything, green and brown and blue. Cars and people, even myself.  I was flying then.  until.......I realized I can't.  But I could.  But I got so scared.  But I did it.  I flew.  I never told anyone then, not ever.  How I long to go there again.  But I can't.  Because I know what I've been told.  Not possible.  And I BElieve.  BUT yet, I do know deep down in my soul, where it sings, I can fly.  I really can.  So can you.  It's true.

Scary huh?  It makes me shiver.  It keeps me warm.  It leaves me searching for soul.  I hear it echo then and feel vibrations blue.

But how could Rhonda hear all that, know so much with just a touch? I think She can hear it too.  Music and songs all day long.  Background vibration love, dance parade.  Taste lemonade.  Blue. Sparkle, shadow, darting hue.  Spirits of past tense.  Souls gone new.  Animals too.  Woo!

Sometimes it grips me so.  Like woe.  Wow.  And when?  When can I go there again?  What makes me whole?

I should have made this into a song.

YOU DID!
I DID?
WE DID.
DO!

What of metaphors and their value in this time?  What of nothing that sparkles and shines?  A sprig of grass, the morning dew.  What of metaphors that sing of blue.  The color, the sound, the vibration of whole.  What of metaphors falling to the ground and creeping back up through the fog.  Something old, something new.  Something borrowed.  Remember blue.  Calm, not sad.  Bold not bad.  Warm and dignified.  True.

I AM not impressed with fool's gold, but it is of the Earth and for that I must honor it's energy.  I gather it in small piles and leave it in the sun to shine.  It sparkles true.  Not worth a dime or nickel of truth on this earthly view.  Another realm, a billion times, not a penny of thought or token of true.  Take it, shake it, swim in the illusion of dust.  Not gold, or silver or rust.  Trust.  Shine on, twinkle, sprinkle true.   I haven't a thing to ask of you.  You haven't a thing to prove.  Find your groove, then claw your way out.  It does not suit you.  Brilliance, now that is all you need to know.  Brilliance that radiates deep inside of you.  Choose it.  That's all.  Choose it, or go back to the black, battered hue you let define you.  You know your way around and can wait there until you are in the ground.  Buried.  Cold and scared with your back to the light.  White, bright brilliant blue.  Oh boo hoo.  Nobody will care if you don't.  It's easy too.

We BEcome what we think about.

I'm thinking shiny, ice cream drops dangling from golden locks of a summer tune lost in June.

None of this was ever meant to make any sense, so stop trying to figure it out.

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