I don't know anyone who has contracted COVID-19 and I would like to keep it that way. If I catch the shit I will die and I don't want to go out that way, so PLEASE WEAR A MASK! I like wearing them because I can write messages on the disposables and have been going with the "Courage Is Contagious" tagline. I also do not go out in public a lot, which is SOP for me, so I have not had to change anything about my life really, other than wearing a mask when I do venture out.

However, if the new norm becomes having to sterilize and sanitize everything new you bring into the house, I will probably die, cuz I ain't about to do all that!  I bet I will last longer than most though because I grow and preserve a lot of my own food.  If you are willing to work for food give me a holler! LOVELAND!

Don't Be an ASS, wear a mask!

http://kevan.org/johari?name=mschif

If you want to know what #MyBernieStory is about you can find lots of videos and heartbreaking stories here: https://www.stories.berniesanders.com/  You can also search Twitter/FB with that hashtag.

I have quite a few #MyBernieStory stories too.  If you scroll way back, to when I started typing smack, you will probably read one or two. However, the story I want to tell, I haven't written down.  I have told this story to many a person though, because I feel it is important in several ways, at least to me, hence I am typing it now.

This My Bernie Story was actually a dream I had, (2ish years ago.) The dream also touched on ideas I have been perpetually reading and learning about, in an effort to understand life. I will explain after the story.

My Bernie Story (--dream sequence--)

I was in a trailer type room with a man I seemed to know. The atmosphere was tense and we were arguing about something. I was feeling uneasy in my dream but I was trying to be calm and cool.
Suddenly this man pulls out a gun and shoots me, twice. TWICE! I fell to the floor, shocked and confused.  I was clutching my torso, trying to contain the warm blood and guts that were oozing out of me.

As I lay dying on the floor, I looked up at the man who shot me and said "I forgive you."

Then everything went black and quiet.

Then I died.

Wait! No!

I didn't die?!

Suddenly I am lying on the ground, surrounded by family, friends, rescue people, sirens and police. Everything is noisy and confusing, but I am quickly filling with dread. (In my dream, I am filling with fucking dread!) I am filling with dread because all I can think of is, how much money it is going to cost to save my life!

I then told the people around me that I was "sorry for all the medical bills that we were going to get..."

~end scene~

The obviously fucked up part of the dream/story is our inhumane, for profit W/Health Care System in the USA, which is the 'My Bernie Story' part of the story.  I am not going to focus on that part though.

The other part of the story I do want to focus on, has to do with the "forgiveness" part of my near death dream.

I have been studying and reading about Edgar Cayce for many years.   I don't remember how I learned about Edgar, but I know it was back in the 1900's.  His work and teachings have showed up at different, and sometimes auspicious, times of my life.  Edgar fascinates me and having met and been healed by Rhonda Lenair, whom is often compared to Edgar, I have many more reasons to study him, and her, and things of energy, healing and spirituality.

I am forever trying to figure out why humans are such bloody, disgusting creatures? Since the beginning of time we slaughter each other and do vile things to animals and the planet.  Forever.   Like, when will we learn?  Have we known it once but forgotten it?  I try to back away from all that is LIFE and look at the BIG picture, in a macro sense, yet the reason for this cycle of human barbarity escapes me. Sometimes I believe that as divine, spiritual creatures, we humans are on this planet only to figure out what we are NOT, as opposed to what we ARE. (my beliefs are fluid)

So anyway, I read an Edgar Cayce prediction, where he said something to the effect of, 'we live in an eye for an eye society and until we can know forgiveness, the pattern will repeat.' I am totally paraphrasing here, but that was the gist of his "prediction."

FORGIVENESS

This made sense to me though and really helped me to put humanity into a better perspective.  Forgiveness.  I can forgive someone for doing evil to me, but can I forgive someone else for their evils done unto others?  Hitler? Kissinger? Bush? McVeigh? Pedophiles & serial killers?   Hmmm...this is where I get kind of stuck.  Do I need to forgive these cretins and the countless others? In order to evolve is it imperative that I wish goodness and light upon the lowliest scum of the Earth?

I will need to work those feelings out, lest I cycle back through another life and be forced to figure it out the hard way. Isn't that the only way?

I also suspect, subconsciously, I was happy to die and get the fuck out of here and just wanted to make sure I didn't have to make any more loops...

"through this thing called life
Electric word life it means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here to tell you there's something else..." ~RIP Prince

"The soul can never be destroyed. 'I,' shall be 'I,' and 'You,' shall be 'You,' for eternity"-NotMe

P.S. Any shrinks out there reading this will probably want to focus on the "want to die and get the fuck out of here" statement.  Fret not, I plan to stay alive to watch it all fall down.  I think it will be a gigantic wave, I had a dream about it... Oh my, here we go again with another dream! lol

I am going to put updates on Julian Assange into this particular page.

http://mschif.xanga.com/free-julian-assange/

Tonight I did a search on Twitter and within the space of a few scrolls I found heaps of references to Xanga. We can make this happen XangaRelics! I have started the official Make Xanga Great Again campaign on twitter. @XangaRelic #XangaRelic #XangaRelics

I have been entrenched in politics for the past 4+ years and have become so fucking angry and ready for a fucking Revolution. I have made a page for my political type rage and will update as I feel I need over there.

I am not going to spend my blog time going on about politics though cuz it makes me rage and I don't need to keep feeding that monster.  This country is so fucking corrupt, I am ashamed to be from the USA most days.  Spare me your fucking flag waving patriotism, the only thing we are great at is discrimination, incarceration, ignorance and imperialism.   I relish in the thought of seeing capitalism brought to its fucking death.

For the record: --> I AM A COMMIE! ☭
(Remember LOVELAND?  We are all about that Commie Love!)

I dl my xml file a few years back and am attempting to upload it to wordpress now so hopefully I have it safe for a few ticks?  WTF is this xanga shit now anyway? what if...

web page counter

I wandered back here a couple days back, looking for something I said or something like that and wandered down a rabbit hole. It was delightful though and has been fun looking back. I am looking ahead now and think coming back to Xanga is a splendid idea, my usual hangouts are forever full of all the shit that is the WORLD and every fucking thing that makes me rage.

I be raging a lot lately and it just isn't healthy, nor conducive to a productive mind. I have stopped feeding many of the machines this year and have a few more to go. Xanga will be a keeper though, somewhere that nobody goes and I don't have to be engaged in all the rage or shadow banned for days and corporate manipulation of every fucking thing.

So YAY! I AM A-FUCKING-OK and still full of lots of songs and rhymes, though I need to find another favourite word, because FUCK is getting way overplayed!

BE WELL. ♥

I was reading some old blogs tonight, way back from 2003. I was talking about a dream I had about my brother Bill and my Aunt Jan & Uncle Lee. My Aunt & Uncle were alive when I wrote that, but they aren't anymore. They died within 1 year of each other and it really sucked. Uncle Lee died suddenly last year and soon after we buried him, my Aunt learned she had cancer. She was defiant at first, determined to kick it's ass. It didn't take long for that to change and then the slow, disgusting hand of death gripped her soul and whittled her away. She died last month but she was gone much before that. She was the only Aunt I had left and I loved her a lot. I loved them both a lot and their lives mattered.

I have been miserably ill this past week. Thought I might go see a doctor today but a few swigs of cough syrup have quieted the gurgling noises in my chest, so now I am thinking not. I don't want to know.

I haven't written much at all lately, been kind of flat and uninspired. I spend most of my summers in the gardens and kitchen. This is work I do enjoy and I love having my shelves filled with all my home canned goods. We went through a lot of my food this past year. This summer is going to be crazy busy with buying a new house, moving, cleaning, changes all around.

I got to thinking at my Aunts funeral about how life seems to move at different speeds. It seems to take forever to make it through the first 20 years and at 20, thinking about turning 40 seems a million years away. Then 40 hits and your like, wow that went pretty quick and you start to get nervous about the next 20 years and how quickly it is going to creep up on you. Once you get to 60 and you think about the next 20 years..... well, then it gets kind of iffy if you will even get to see another 20 years. I can't imagine anything past 80, not with my genes and health issues. I really don't think I want to anyway, it gets pretty lonely at that age.

I am seeing that with my parents and in-laws now, all of their friends and family dying around them. Stocking up on sympathy cards. It is especially difficult for my parents, having lost 2 of their 3 children already. I pray they do not have to see me die, that just wouldn't be fair.

Enough now. It felt good to write and I think I shall do this some more. Blog on Xanga, like back in the old days, before I had a flip phone. RETRO! =)

BE WELL. ♥