February 20, 2001

  • Dave came over tonight.  I did not expect him here and really wanted to be alone and read.  It turned out to be a worthwhile visit for both of us, despite my wanting to be alone.


    I told David about Brandon and my sexual experience with him tonight.  I told him I found beauty in the experience and that I am happy it happened, and that the Universe is a better place because of it.  Dave had no problem with my experience and asked me a lot of questions.  One question he could not stop asking was "when?"


    I knew the answer to the "when" would bother him more than anything so I tried to avoid it or put it into perspective.  To no avail....Dave still needed to have a time reference for it.


    I told him.


    He freaked.


    We talked.  We were honest.  We re-membered.  We loved.  We forgave.  We learned.  We shared.  We became closer.


    I am not sure what impact all of this new energy and sharing and openness will have on us, but I do know it can only be good.


    I LOVE LIFE!
    I LOVE ME!
    I LOVE!


    I am throwing the Judgement card in the air as a symbol of the coming together of a consciousness and the end of a sanctimonious facade.  YEEHAW!


What?

I AM still paranoid,
though reasons changed.
I'm paranoid that they'll figure out the language
and patterns of
me,
and I'll forget to rea
r r
ange.

Then I'll just be textbook.