September 11, 2002

• I haven't the Strength to REmember horror and pain.  Not today.

   

  I called my brother Joe last night.  I spoke with the children for a long time.  They begged me to come for a visit.  Stephanie said I could be her Christmas present instead of sending a gift.  I miss the children so much.

   

  Phillip told me that he put the American flag I sent them up.  He flew it at half mast in front of his school, and because of this he made the newspaper, a picture and everything.  It made me cry, happy tears.  There is a little town in New Zealand who mourned with us today.  The energy has shifted and everything has changed.  I started a shift by sending that flag and Phillip is a hero, a young soul so brave.

   

  My brother sounded good.  Strong.  I enjoyed our conversation very much and I was on the phone for well over 1 hour, bouncing between the kids and Joe.

   

  I worry about Joe, more so now than ever before.  He tested positive for Hepatitis C.  That shit will kill you, and indeed it did kill a few friends of mine already.

   

  I am beginning to understand my mission here on Earth.  What it is I must conquer yet again.  Death and dying, letting go.  So many lives behind me, so much pain, but yet, I chose to feel it all over again, and I don't like the way it feels.

   

  I will learn to say goodbye, I know there is so much more and I am never alone.  I am a soldier and a warrior, despite my girly charms, despite my girly charms, despite the armor I chose this round, I am a warrior and I will ALWAYS die for my cause.

   

  BE WELL.

  • 9:38 am
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